Sweet Insight...

A couple of nights ago i had a neat experience. Just before i went to bed i went into Olivia's bedroom to check on her. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, i found her sleeping peacefully as she usually is. But this night i paused to really look at her sweet face and this is what i saw.....contentment, love, security, happiness, confidence, enthusiasm, belonging, peace. I saw a little girl full of life, discovering who she is in the Lord and assured in her role in our family. It was really gratifying . Then the Lord brought to my mind this same child , left unadopted . I could not help but be sobered by the thought of it. So many times in our adoption journey to Olivia i was afraid. Many times I just knew that God had picked the wrong woman in me to be a mother to a child that i knew nothing about. There were times i wanted to stop the process. I cried a lot, argued with God a lot, doubted a lot, hoped and prayed a lot. When it all was said and done, however, i knew that i could not say No to God and His Word. Olivia has now been our daughter for 51/2 years. And now I know that this little girl that God wanted to place into our family craves the attention of her mom and dad, loves relationships, loves having sisters, loves being challenged in any and every area, loves to please, loves to talk, loves having grandparents, loves to serve, loves being a big sister, loves music, loves having her own room and her own bed, loves having a dog ,and i could go on and on. I think God was showing me how tragic it would have been for this child to have missed out on all that she loves because i gave into my fear. Parts of adoption can be very scary. However, seeing Olivia, even for just a moment, without a family was heart wrenching. I am very thankful that i said "yes".